The start of something new?! PART 1


posted by Hinna

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It has been a tough couple of months for me, I have been character building, finding myself, regaining my confidence and learning how to be a happier and better person. You may ask why have I been feeling so low and what has caused me to be depressed and why I felt the way I have been. Well, it’s been building up for quite a while now, 'll tell you all about what has been going on.
So it basically started at the end of my 1st year at uni, I’m not sure what triggered it but my so called “friends” at the time were being not so friendly I suppose, we were a good solid group of friends at the start and then it started going downhill. Just for the sake of this post we’ll call these group of friends “A” and “B” (this doesn’t necessarily mean there were only two people involved but just to make it easier for me to explain) so anyway, A and B started to isolate me, talk behind my back about me and leave me out in anything they did, naturally I was hurt, I mean I'm the type of person who literally wouldn’t hurt a fly, so I had no clue what I had done wrong and why I deserved to be treated the way they were treating me. Similar things kept happening, until it got a little too much for me to handle, it was near exam period, everyone was already very stressed out, at this point I came home from uni crying almost every day and feeling so miserable like all of my life had been sucked out of me, that is how I felt, lifeless. Because of that, I decided that it would be best if I gave these friends what they wanted and so I started to spend time on my own, it may seem silly but the amount of times they’ve been spiteful was unbelievable, the things they would say, the way they looked at me, the way they treated me was OMG it was so awful. It wasn’t like they completely stopped talking to me, because they still acted like things were okay when they were around other people, however some people did notice but that was the way it was. We completed our exams and first year was over.

During the summer we had little contact, there were a few text messages here and there and then the odd phone calls, I even went out with one of them for a coffee, it seemed like we were regaining our friendship and we were leaving our differences behind us.(well it seemed like it at the time).

 Fast forward to autumn 2011, a new fresh start, Year 2.

 Things seemed good for the first two or three weeks, but started going downhill after that once again. But the ironic thing was that it wasn’t to do with me, but actually it was A verses B this time. For some reason A and B started behaving rather strangely towards each other and I was in the middle of it all. A would come up to me and start backbiting about B and co, B would tell me how last year A and co would say horrible things behind my back and how they hated me, then A started saying bad things about B, I really didn’t wanted to hear any of this. If you know me, then you will know that one of my biggest pet peeves is when a person says a bad thing about another person behind their back, no matter how good or bad that person is, I really do not like backbiters whatsoever. So as you may be able to tell, this was truly stressing me out.

This kept happening and a few weeks went by, bear in mind they were still talking to each other even though at the same time they were saying bad things behind one another’s back. :/ Somewhere in-between all of this, another person joins in and other things start to happen. It’s now end of November/ beginning of December. One day, I’m just minding my own business, doing my coursework when A starts complaining about a lost USB, I didn’t really know what was going on as I didn’t really wanted to associated with A/B that much at this point. But one day after lectures myself and A ended up taking the same train, so we spoke a little bit and then all of a sudden out of the blue, this so called friend comes up to me and whispers to me, something along the lines of “If you have my USB, just put it back and I won’t tell anyone that it was you” Whaaaaaaaat??!?! Seriously, is this person for real?? I was like what are you on about?? No one has ever accused me of stealing, and my so called friend falsely accuses me of something I wouldn’t even dream of doing. I was beyond shocked and hurt and that is when I decided that I had to get away from these type of people, the type of people who spread rumours, slander and backbite about others, especially their friends. I realised then and there that I couldn’t be around and I didn’t want to be associated with a group of people like this.

 I admit it; I was naïve, so naïve. I lived in a little world of my own where everyone was sweet and nice and just so wonderful, where people never hurt you, but I was wrong, I was so soooooo wrong.

Oh yeah, another reason I had enough was that one of the person I had to work with for group coursework decided that it would be perfectly normal to replace me with another person and then she had the audacity to tell me that I wasn’t in the group anymore after she did that, she didn’t even mention it to me at first…. I really do not know why negative people must exist in the world, I am not a judgemental person, but seriously these people I have encountered with get some sort of high in making others feel inferior just so that they can hide their own insecurities.

The bullying got so bad that before the second semester I decided to take a break from all this drama.

The point of me telling you this is because I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason and that everything that happens is an experience that you get to learn from. In my next post I am going to tell you how I overcame my problems and how ready I am to go back to uni this autumn!



So watch this space for how I dealt with this experience. :)


Part 2  is now up. Please click here to read it :)

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